he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
