Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
