i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
