i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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