you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
