she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
