Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize