The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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