She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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