He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
