Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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