3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Randomize
