I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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