Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
