**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just had sex bonerless
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
