u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
