i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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