The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
