were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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