i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
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There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
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Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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