It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
