Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.