I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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