I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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