forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
