i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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