wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
