it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Randomize
