My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
