exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
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