dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
