Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
