I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
what day is it and did you see me today?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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