I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
