I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.