you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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