oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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