office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him