I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
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becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
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Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial