just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I was not drunk enough for that final.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize