just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
