I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
