He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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