pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
