Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
