i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
