Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
