I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
