i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's rum buckets o'clock
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
