Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
