When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
