He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
