i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
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Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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