That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
