He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
