he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
