Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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