oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
false alarm, still single
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
