Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
