I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
