CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
