Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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