I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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