I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So I just went to clothing optional bar
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
