it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
