Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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