The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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