I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
