a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
