yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
