My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
