You can't motorboat a personality
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Two words: nipple clamps
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